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Parents Meeting Feb 2019 – Notes 

For those who didn’t have the opportunity to buy the book which will fuel your car journeys to building epic rugby character it can be found here: www.non-perfectdad.co.uk/books

 

The importance of character. 

What were your answers to the BBQ question? 

Kitrina Douglas’s story  https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-29/january-2016/one-one-kitrina-douglas

Arthur Conan Doyle parents quote – “I have frequently gained my first real insight into the character of the parents by studying their children.” From the book ‘The adventure of the copper beeches’

“Athletes bring to the high-performance environment the models that they’ve learnt at home.” Dr Karl Steptoe http://www.ncsem.org.uk/parentsinsport/

All blacks- book Legacy By James Kerr.

Sir Alex Fergusson’s grit quote from his book-Leading

Freddie Flintoff. listen to this podcast, ( just ignore Robbie’s foolishness!) https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05h6ztq

We all parent different paths-  http://www2.oberlin.edu/faculty/ndarling/lab/psychbull.pdf

Who is Richard Shorter–  https://non-perfectdad.co.uk/about-me/

 

 

Character focused Parenting 

Collins & MacNamara- Talent Development- A practitioner’s Guide (Supers and Almosts) and http://clok.uclan.ac.uk/12969/

 

Character focused Journeys  

  • Express pride/love before game.

Brene Brown permission slips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NY6hZf6kI4g

  • Ask the question

What do you want me to do for you on game day/ training day? (Exam day, interview day, new partner day Etc)

https://thecpsu.org.uk/download/media/2501/cpsu_parenting-cheat-sheet.pdf

  • Sit with pain

https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/personal-reflections-coping-and-loss

  • Seek progress – Growth mindset Carol Dweck

www.non-perfectdad.co.uk/the-3-wrong-things-to-say-in-the-post-match-sports-journey-after-a-loss 

Character focus louder than results focus 

  • Support during ups and downs
  • Offers a way forward
  • Helps with sibling rivalry
  • Provides more space for creativity/ problem solving
  • Long-term will lead to more winning!
  •         More fun!

www.non-perfectdad.co.uk/parents-stop-focusing-on-tries-and-goals-my-rugby-world-article

Character focused praise (Pitchside)

https://non-perfectdad.co.uk/sideline-noise-pollution-what-would-you-do-with-100-instructions-in-an-hour/

Sideline fun you can have at your club. www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx4ACRFMLxg&t=24s

Character focused praise 

  • Specific (not flattery) Dr Marilyn Steele- Strengthening Families Strengthening Communities
  • Focused on process/ character – Growth mindset- Carol Dweck
  • Stretch included

Dr Ed Hall has suggested the idea of a stretch harnesses the positive emotions associated with praise and uses them to facilitate effort towards a new goal. His reading suggests the idea fits with various theories of learning and motivation, but most notably Vygotsky’s zones of proximal development.  www.northumbria.ac.uk/about-us/our-staff/h/edward-t,-d-,-hall 

  • Walk away

If you are around parents who are winding you up or not being helpful. Walk away.

What are you going to turn up or down?

Should you wish to explore these questions more please contact me at Richard@non-perfectdad.co.uk