These are the notes from the session. If you do have any questions, please do get in touch.
Dr Karl Steptoe Says “Athletes bring to the high performance environment the models that they’ve learnt at home.” http://www.ncsem.org.uk/parentsinsport/
“I was locked in, living between a rock and a hard place, I didn’t know what to do with. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I was caged into a situation which wasn’t giving life and so was destined to end up having an ugly de-selection call.”
Where in this story can you hear echos of the parent/coach relationship?
Where is the metaphor of an engaged couple helpful and unhelpful to understand the parent/ coach relationships?
This is complex! If I had one complaint about what the sports world is doing with parent engagement it is this. It is generally making it all far too simple.
If you wanted to read more on the complex nature of these systems and how it relates to Talent development Kristoffer Henriksen paper on THE ECOLOGY OF TALENT DEVELOPMENT IN SPORT in which he develops a model called Athletic Talent Development Environment (ATDE) offers some useful insights into this complexity and the parent role.
#Great coaching can work with these complexes to see a thriving parent engagement.
Great coaching can work with the complexity of parent engagement by simply building an influencing rapport with parents.
When we build rapport we lay the foundation for for people to be able to move into Safe uncertainty. This is the psychology state which best enables people to change. See Barry mason’s work or Dr S Brown’s work. https://www.emotionallyconnected.co.uk
Great coaching can work with the complexity of parent engagement by simply being self aware.
Self awareness is learning how to draw on our own story for good without it getting in the way of others development.
A great book to read on this is Counselling for toads by Robert de Board.
Research into attempts to change the behaviour of parents who refuse to vaccinate their children in America discovered although the messaging was correct and based on good science how they communicated actually made parent want to vaccinate less! Now this from outside sport so we need to be careful how we apply this in sport but I think it clearly highlights the effect on not being self-ware of your messages and their impact. I see this take place in sport too.
Great coaching can work with the complexity of parent engagement by simply learning how to draw on our own story for good without it getting in the way of others development.
#Great coaching can work with the complexity of parent engagement by simply becoming self aware.
Great coaching can work with the complexity of parent engagement by simply learning to rumble together.
Brene brown is one of the best on this and she says
“A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and, as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard. More than anything else, when someone says, ‘Let’s rumble,’ it cues me to show up with an open heart and mind so we can serve the work and each other, not our egos.”
#Great coaching can work with the complexity of parent engagement by simply learning to rumble together.
This exciting new alliance of parents fuelling the character needed to succeed and release potential on and off the sports arena. Learning together to grow in the complexity of the opportunities and challenges of being the parent of a child pursing their sporting . Join us now ( at a massive discount, we’d love to have you there.)
I think it is time the parent coach relationship was given the chance to have better quality of connection and outcomes because:
#Greatcoaching can work with the complexity of parent engagement.