Millfield Prep Parents Meeting Oct 2018 – Notes below
Please find my book on my website www.non-perfectdad.co.uk/books if you were not able to get a copy on the morning. Thanks to all those who bought a copy. If you found it helpful, please do leave a review on Amazon.
Any questions about the questions, do please ask.
Notes from the session.
The importance of character.
What were your answers to the BBQ question?
Kitrina Douglas’s story https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-29/january-2016/one-one-kitrina-douglas
Arthur Conan Doyle parents quote – “I have frequently gained my first real insight into the character of the parents by studying their children.” From the book ‘The adventure of the copper beeches’
“Athletes bring to the high-performance environment the models that they’ve learnt at home.” Dr Karl Steptoe http://www.ncsem.org.uk/parentsinsport/
All blacks- book Legacy By James Kerr.
Sir Alex Fergusson’s grit quote from his book-Leading
Freddie Flintoff. listen to this podcast, ( just ignore Robbie’s foolishness!) https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05h6ztq
We all paren
t different paths- http://www2.oberlin.edu/faculty/ndarling/lab/psychbull.pdf
Who is Richard Shorter– https://non-perfectdad.co.uk/about-me/
Character focused Parenting
Collins & MacNamara- Talent Development- A practitioner’s Guide (Supers and Almosts) and http://clok.uclan.ac.uk/12969/
Character focused Journeys 
- Express pride/love before game.
Brene Brown permission slips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NY6hZf6kI4g
- Ask the question
What do you want me to do for you on game day/ training day? (Exam day, interview day, new partner day Etc)
https://thecpsu.org.uk/download/media/2501/cpsu_parenting-cheat-sheet.pdf
- Sit with pain
https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/personal-reflections-coping-and-loss
- Seek progress – Growth mindset Carol Dweck
www.non-perfectdad.co.uk/the-3-wrong-things-to-say-in-the-post-match-sports-journey-after-a-loss
Character focus louder than results focus
- Support during ups and downs
- Offers a way forward
- Helps with sibling rivalry
- Provides more space for creativity/ problem solving
- Long-term will lead to more winning!
- More fun!
www.non-perfectdad.co.uk/parents-stop-focusing-on-tries-and-goals-my-rugby-world-article
Character focused praise (Pitchside)
Sideline fun you can have at your club. www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx4ACRFMLxg&t=24s
Character focused praise
- Specific (not flattery) Dr Marilyn Steele- Strengthening Families Strengthening Communities
- Focused on process/ character – Growth mindset- Carol Dweck
- Stretch included
Dr Ed Hall has suggested the idea of a stretch harnesses the positive emotions associated with praise and uses them to facilitate effort towards a new goal. His reading suggests the idea fits with various theories of learning and motivation, but most notably Vygotsky’s zones of proximal development. www.northumbria.ac.uk/about-us/our-staff/h/edward-t,-d-,-hall
- Walk away
If you are around parents who are winding you up or not being helpful. Walk away.
