When you think of some of the most successful sportswomen and men of our generation, it does not take long to see that many have a driven parent. Such as the Williams sisters, Andy Murray and Lewis Hamilton.
So is that what is needed to have successful children? To be pushy and domineering? Well, Yes and No.
There are definitely some extremely pushy parents who’s children see high-level success in many areas of life, but what you don’t see is the path littered with countless more children who have been properly damaged by pushy parents. What you don’t see is the numbers of broken child/ parent relationships because of parents pushing hard for their dream for their child. What you don’t see is the numbers of young adults struggling to hold down jobs and relationships and the therapy bill which comes with it. I do see it. The arrogant, pushy parent will say it will not happen to me, but it will.
Where you need to be pushy with your child is that they have a dream of what they can be, sporty or not. That this dream is big, wide and can change.
What you need to be is pushy with your child over is that they have the character to fulfil their dreams.
Where you need to be pushy with your child is that they have a good life balance between work, family, friends, sports and hobbies.
Where you need to be pushy with your child is that they know they are loved and valued regardless of results on the sports field or in the exam room.
Where you need to be pushy is in helping your child be committed when they are not enjoying it. You need to be equally pushy that once it is clear they have had enough, they can stop regardless of pressure from coaches, schools or your dreams for them. [Our youngest is a gymnast and moved up groups, she isn’t enjoying it as much, even though she is clearly really talented (spot the proud dad!). We aren’t going to make her do it forever, but we have said if she finishes this term and still does not like it then she can stop.]
Does every sports success have a pushy parent behind them? Yes, they do, but the successful parents are pushy for what really matters in life.
That’s what builds self-esteem and self-confidence.
I’m pushing for my kids to have the self-believe to chase their dreams.
I have 20 years experience of working with families, helping parents raise children with the self-confidence and self-esteem to be a world changer is what I enjoy doing and turns out I am pretty good at.
I'm a dad of three ( all of whom can rap the first part of Ice Ice baby by Vanilla Ice), all three would say I am not a perfect dad but then who is… but I am a great at being me.
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